Stedfast and faithful in the face of adversity, unto death.

Still living on borrowed time.

The clock is still ticking. 

   

Headache.

A bad one. God has judged me. 

Spiritually dried up, listless and lost also.

What must Saul do to be saved?

Dan 9:7a  "O Lord, righteousness belongeth unto thee, but unto us confusion of faces, as at this day"

Mat 6:13b "Thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen."

1Co 1:29   That no flesh should glory in his presence. 

1Co 1:30  But of him are ye in Christ Jesus, who of God is made unto us wisdom, and righteousness, and sanctification, and redemption: 

1Co 1:31  That, according as it is written, He that glorieth, let him glory in the Lord. 

Eph 2:9  Not of works, lest any man should boast. 

Psa 44:8  In God we boast all the day long, and praise thy name for ever. 

Naked came I out of my mother's womb...

In truth, there is no difference between me and that waiter at the counter serving me the food. God had been sovereign to place us in each of our places. But we have all sinned against the Lord, and fell short of His glory, Jews and Gentiles alike, there is no difference.


Deu 28:47  Because thou servedst not the LORD thy God with joyfulness, and with gladness of heart, for the abundance of all things...

"Teach me O LORD the way of Thy statutes, and I shall keep it unto the end!"

Neh 10:29  They clave to their brethren, their nobles, and entered into a curse, and into an oath, to walk in God's law, which was given by Moses the servant of God, and to observe and do all the commandments of the LORD our Lord, and his judgments and his statutes; 

Neh 10:30  And that we would not give our daughters unto the people of the land, nor take their daughters for our sons: 

Neh 10:31  And if the people of the land bring ware or any victuals on the sabbath day to sell, that we would not buy it of them on the sabbath, or on the holy day: and that we would leave the seventh year, and the exaction of every debt. 

Neh 10:32  Also we made ordinances for us, to charge ourselves yearly with the third part of a shekel for the service of the house of our God; 

Neh 10:33  For the shewbread, and for the continual meat offering, and for the continual burnt offering, of the sabbaths, of the new moons, for the set feasts, and for the holy things, and for the sin offerings to make an atonement for Israel, and for all the work of the house of our God. 

Neh 10:34  And we cast the lots among the priests, the Levites, and the people, for the wood offering, to bring it into the house of our God, after the houses of our fathers, at times appointed year by year, to burn upon the altar of the LORD our God, as it is written in the law: 

Neh 10:35  And to bring the firstfruits of our ground, and the firstfruits of all fruit of all trees, year by year, unto the house of the LORD: 

Neh 10:36  Also the firstborn of our sons, and of our cattle, as it is written in the law, and the firstlings of our herds and of our flocks, to bring to the house of our God, unto the priests that minister in the house of our God: 

Neh 10:37  And that we should bring the firstfruits of our dough, and our offerings, and the fruit of all manner of trees, of wine and of oil, unto the priests, to the chambers of the house of our God; and the tithes of our ground unto the Levites, that the same Levites might have the tithes in all the cities of our tillage. 

Neh 10:38  And the priest the son of Aaron shall be with the Levites, when the Levites take tithes: and the Levites shall bring up the tithe of the tithes unto the house of our God, to the chambers, into the treasure house. 

Neh 10:39  For the children of Israel and the children of Levi shall bring the offering of the corn, of the new wine, and the oil, unto the chambers, where are the vessels of the sanctuary, and the priests that minister, and the porters, and the singers: and we will not forsake the house of our God. 

Presumption

Got the contact. But will not go forth until given the green light from HQ, lest Judah going up to the hill presumptuously be discomfited before apostate Israel, and he return mourning, and the LORD shall not hear him.

Six days shalt thou labor.

Work hard, kill the flesh and kill myself, peradventure I be saved.

Give me children, or else I die. (words of Rachel, wife of Jacob)

Son 2:15a "Take us the foxes, the little foxes, that spoil the vines"

Mat 13:27-28a  "So the servants of the householder came and said unto him, Sir, didst not thou sow good seed in thy field? from whence then hath it tares? He said unto them, An enemy hath done this."  

The fallow ground of my heart just would not broken up... 

Deu 28:23  And thy heaven that is over thy head shall be brass, and the earth that is under thee shall be iron. 

My soul is still barren. O God, give me children, or else I die! 

For better or for worse.

Pro 4:18  But the path of the just is as the shining light, that shineth more and more unto the perfect day. 

Meanwhile... 

2Ti 3:13  But evil men and seducers shall wax worse and worse, deceiving, and being deceived. 

Jer 17:14  Heal me, O LORD, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved: for thou art my praise. 

Won by Love

Who on earth who give his life as a ransom for justice to those who deal treacherously to him?

Rom 5:8-10:

"But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Much more then, being now justified by his blood, we shall be saved from wrath through him. For if, when we were enemies, we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, being reconciled, we shall be saved by his life."

"Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good."

Rom 9:16 "So then it is not of him that willeth, nor of him that runneth, but of God that sheweth mercy."

Rom 9:15  For he saith to Moses, I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion.

Should I not rejoice over this doctrine of God's sovereignty? If salvation is contingent upon myself and my own will, where would I end up? How can I say I am at my free will and not taken captive at the will of Satan when for so many times the LORD had innumerously strived within my heart yet I persisted to sin stubbornly! 

Blessed be the Sovereign God...

When everything falls apart, praise His Name;

When you have a broken heart, just lift your hands and sing;

When you feel you are all alone, praise His Name;

And you feel all hope is gone, just raise your hands and say:

Greater is He that sitteth in the throne of Heaven.

"Though He slays me, yet will I trust in Him"

(inspired and modified from "Praise His Name" by Jeff and Sheri Easter)

Identity Crisis.

In pastor's letter to me: "Just be as you are. Assume the disposition of a seeking sinner, fighting against his own sins, hypocrisies and pretences and desperately attempting to obtain the regeneration and the transformation of heart that Christ Yeshua alone can render unto him".

Dried up.

In daily need of fresh supply of God's Word and Spirit. 

Deu 32:2-3  My doctrine shall drop as the rain, my speech shall distil as the dew, as the small rain upon the tender herb, and as the showers upon the grass: Because I will publish the name of the LORD: ascribe ye greatness unto our God."

Tired.

Wherefore should a man complain for the punishment of his sins? Why art thou cast down O my soul? Hope thou in God! Be cheerful and joyful for the abundance of all things He had given thee!

Psa 106:46 "He made them also to be pitied of all those that carried them captives."

I found favor in the eyes of my professors in topography anatomy, pharmacology, biochemistry, ID. Also amongst the people in the market, restaurants, and workers in the hostel. The LORD is very tenderly compassionate to me.

Monday morning.

16/5/2011.

Today no gen surg class - which supposedly planned to have colloq for us. This in turn gave me the opportunity to find the professor to do my biochemistry "otrabotka". This is the mercy of the LORD!

I am loved by the Love of Yeshua Christ...

Sms-ed pastor this morning pleaded for his prayers that the sovereign God may give me smooth clearance for my biochemistry and tenderize the heart of my professor towards me. Despite of all my departures, rebellion, treachery, prevarications and dubiousness, pastor replied me, "Yes my son, I'll pray for your biochemistry papers. I'll also pray that God may tenderize your teacher's heart and your as well. Shalom." Truly I am loved by the love of Christ on a very personal level, and that pastor is truly the man of God. It is also a reflection of the heart of God desiring my repentance. I felt my rebellion towards the doctrines of God calmly subdued. During the reading of Scriptures I felt the tender showers of God's Spirit. Moscow is having a perfect weather today, literally - a token of His mercy.

Period of Grace

Should have been dead long time ago. Living on borrowed time. The clock is tickling.