Out of 6.8 billion people in the world

(statistics source: World Clock)

though I'm not the only one, but still,
among the so few,
WHY ME, O God?

(Deu. 9:5) "Not for thy righteousness, or for the uprightness of thine heart"
(1Cor. 1:27-28) "And base things of the world, and things which are despised, hath God chosen, yea, and things which are not, to bring to nought things that are"

1) My exceedingly great and rare privilege!

2) What a pity if I don't make it! Being so near yet so far!

3) Thus my exceeding greatness of sin in disobeying this Covenant, and despite that, God's exceeding greatness of compassion and love to continually stretch out His arm to me!

 

- O, strive, then, to be one of them that shall be saved, though it cost thee thy blood and the loss of all that thou hast; labor to go beyond all those that go so far yet perish at the last. (Thomas Shepard's Sincere Convert)

Luk 13:24 "Strive to enter in at the strait gate: for many, I say unto you, will seek to enter in, and shall not be able."

"That every mouth may be stopped, and all the world may become guilty before God" (Rom. 3:19b)

Some days back, my friend broke a promise he made with me. And instead of apologizing he started to make up excuses e.g. he had the full intention to keep the promise although he failed, no one is perfect etc.. Of which this incident awakened me to realize a point which the preacher always tried to press home: I am inexcusable for all my sins.

Although (1) man is naturally born depraved, (2) no one is perfect, and we all have weaknesses, (3) we do not fully know the law of God - none is justified. (1) Ecc. 7:29, Rom. 5:12; (2) 1Cor. 10:13, Job 36:21; (3) Lev. 4:13-14, Luke 12:47-48. But that the full measure of justice and God's wrath is to be meted accordingly even for the smallest sin, for there can never ever be the slightest injustice with the holy God, be it in this world, or in the eternity to come. No sin will go unpunished. Either Christ have to bear it for me, or I will have to personally.

(Hos 7:2) And they consider not in their hearts that I remember all their wickedness: now their own doings have beset them about; they are before my face.

O God where shall I stand in Thy sight?

Thou mightest be justified when Thou speakest,

and be clear when Thou judgest

(Psalm 51:4b)

Concentration.

Endeavor!: Focus mentally always on all the commandments of God, summed chiefly by the Decalogue and Christ's Sermon on the Mount, to do them diligently, and turn not aside to the left or right. Live and consecrate every moment to God and Zion.

Yo boss. Tolong jangan jatuh.

Otherwise really jia lak.

Deu. 32:47a "For it is not a vain thing for you; because it is your life"

Biochemistry

Today God humbled me in the presence of my friends, though not the first time, during biochem's class. I couldn't answer even a single question my professor asked me. The LORD had exornerated Himself: unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required (Luke 12:48); and the heathens have been more diligent and righteous than I. I'm suffering as a fool for my iniquity. He hath prospered Joseph in all that he did, but His Hand is against me in all that I do. There is no respect of persons with God the righteous Judge. But He is still very pitiful - and moved my professor to give me a free pass for my 1st semester. Thou art just and clear, I have brought this on myself through my own iniquity, blessed be the LORD. I'm undone. Have mercy on me for Christ's sake.

Hope someday biochemistry rocks for me by God's mercy and grace.

Bless the LORD, o my soul

O LORD my God, Thou art very great; Thou art clothed with honor and majesty. Who coverest Thyself with light as with a garment: Who stretchest out the heavens like a curtain: Who layeth the beams of His chambers in the waters: Who maketh the clouds His chariots: Who walketh upon the wings of the wind: Who maketh His angels spirits; His ministers a flaming fire: Who laid the foundations of the earth, that it should not be removed forever. (Psalm 104)

 

O LORD, how manifold are Thy works! in wisdom hast Thou made them all: the earth is full of Thy riches. The glory of the LORD shall endure forever: the LORD shall rejoice in His works. I will sing unto the LORD as long as I live: I will sing praise to my God while I have my being. My meditation of Him shall be sweet: I will be glad in the LORD. Let the sinners be consumed out of the earth, and let the wicked be no more. Bless thou the LORD, o my soul. Praise ye the LORD. Amen.

"Take heed unto thyself, and unto the doctrine; and continue in them: for in doing this thou shalt both save thyself, and them that hear thee." (I Timothy 4:16)

Pastor's advice to me caused me to realize...

-I must not stop but continually: 1) meditate 2) take heed and practice 3) continue in the doctrines.

-To the end that I may "be bestowed with a good sense of the pastoral deductions and the experimental reality of the doctrines" (pastor).

I have lived day by day without awakening to spiritual realities and the power of the truth, despite all the intellectual learning. Like a zombie.

O God despise not the prayer of the destitute.
Pray God let the ministrations keep stacking up in my heart, to work contrition, repentance and faith. Amen.

"A rolling stone gathers no moss."

Tiny.

I've walked proudly, after the vanity and high imagination of my mind. My heart have been exalted against my own destruction.

Then by His providence God brought a very skinny china roomate to stay with me, who literally mirrored many of my moral weaknesses and physical infirmities.

From then I realized...

I'm small and despised, yet the LORD thinketh upon me.

Blessed be the NAME of the LORD.

Be still my soul.

And know that YEHOVAH He is ELOHIM. (Psalm 46)

- "A rolling stone gathers no moss". Pastor's advice to me.

I still sleep like pig. SIGH.

After giving a thought, found out that sloth is a sign of unregenerate.

"The way of the slothful man is as an hedge of thorns: but the way of the righteous is made plain." (Prov. 15:19) - a contrast between the redeemed of the Lord and those who are not.

Looking up the Bible, realized that without diligence can never find God. (Heb. 6:11-12; 11:6)
 - That is, although salvation is sovereignly and freely dispensed by God- so that there is absolutely nothing we can possibly do to merit it; yet He hath ordained it in such a way that without faith and repentance, in diligence and striving none should attain unto it. (Romans 4:4, 9:30-33, Luke 13:24, Acts 14:22)

I need to be awakened from my spiritual coma, my sleep of death (Psalm 13).

This fellow appears to fell asleep during his sembahyang.