Strait Gate

Browsed through some videos online. Amazed and appaled by the fact that many came so close to the truth, yet coming short of it.

Mar 4:24-25 "And he said unto them, Take heed what ye hear: with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you: and unto you that hear shall more be given. For he that hath, to him shall be given: and he that hath not, from him shall be taken even that which he hath."

Luk 13:23-24 "Then said one unto him, Lord, are there few that be saved? And he said unto them, Strive to enter in at the strait gate: for many, I say unto you, will seek to enter in, and shall not be able."

Joh 9:17 They say unto the blind man again, What sayest thou of him, that he hath opened thine eyes? He said, He is a prophet.

Joh 9:24-25 "Then again called they the man that was blind, and said unto him, Give God the praise: we know that this man is a sinner. He answered and said, Whether he be a sinner or no, I know not: one thing I know, that, whereas I was blind, now I see."

Joh 9:30 The man answered and said unto them, Why herein is a marvellous thing, that ye know not from whence he is, and yet he hath opened mine eyes.

v31 Now we know that God heareth not sinners: but if any man be a worshipper of God, and doeth his will, him he heareth.

v32 Since the world began was it not heard that any man opened the eyes of one that was born blind.

v33 If this man were not of God, he could do nothing.

v34 They answered and said unto him, Thou wast altogether born in sins, and dost thou teach us? And they cast him out.

v35 Jesus heard that they had cast him out; and when he had found him, he said unto him, Dost thou believe on the Son of God?

v36 He answered and said, Who is he, Lord, that I might believe on him?

v37 And Jesus said unto him, Thou hast both seen him, and it is he that talketh with thee.

v38 And he said, Lord, I believe. And he worshipped him.

Mat 13:45-46 "Again, the kingdom of heaven is like unto a merchant man, seeking goodly pearls: Who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had, and bought it."

Rom 2:7-8 "To them who by patient continuance in well doing seek for glory and honour and immortality, eternal life: But unto them that are contentious, and do not obey the truth, but obey unrighteousness, indignation and wrath"



An old year past, a new year comes

27th December 2010 AD.
And I am still not saved.

God help me.

I refuse to be discouraged. I will rid myself of self-pity by God's grace. Though He slays me, I will still trust in Him! God help me.

Hope against hope

Say no to unbelief
   

...and cigarettes.

Died.

16th December 2010 Thursday. I died.

Does God Really Exist ?

Never Give up (MUST WATCH)

破釜沉舟

破釜沉舟典故出自秦末的巨鹿之战。项羽为报叔父项梁之仇，亲率二万精兵进攻章邯。渡江前命令兵士打破煮食用的釜镬，渡江后凿沉舟只，只带三天干粮。最后于巨鹿大败秦军。


后以“破釜沉舟”表示下定决心，义无返顾。

Point of No Return.

No returning back, no regrets

No holding back, no reservations.

If I perish, I perish.- Esther ~ 475 BC

Sell All and Empty the Cup, for the Pearl of Great Price.

Unbelief, self, pride, lust, sloth, ill-discipline.. and literally everything else.

Mat 6:22-24 "The light of the body is the eye: if therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light. But if thine eye be evil, thy whole body shall be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in thee be darkness, how great is that darkness! No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon."

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.

Psa 36:9 For with Thee is the fountain of Life: in Thy Light shall we see Light.

2Co 4:3-4 "But if our gospel be hid, it is hid to them that are lost: In whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them."

Joh 1:5 "And the Light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not."

Mat 13:23  "But he that received seed into the good ground is he that heareth the word, and understandeth it; which also beareth fruit, and bringeth forth, some an hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty."

John 1:6-7 "There was a man sent from God, whose name was John. The same came for a witness, to bear witness of the Light, that all men through him might believe."

Php 3:7-17 "But what things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ. Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ, And be found in him, not having mine own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith: That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death; If by any means I might attain unto the resurrection of the dead. Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus. Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. Let us therefore, as many as be perfect, be thus minded: and if in any thing ye be otherwise minded, God shall reveal even this unto you. Nevertheless, whereto we have already attained, let us walk by the same rule, let us mind the same thing. Brethren, be followers together of me, and mark them which walk so as ye have us for an ensample."

Psa 82:5-8 "They know not, neither will they understand; they walk on in darkness: all the foundations of the earth are out of course. I have said, Ye are gods; and all of you are children of the most High. But ye shall die like men, and fall like one of the princes. Arise, O God, judge the earth: for thou shalt inherit all nations."

 

Mat 20:30-33 "And, behold, two blind men sitting by the way side, when they heard that Jesus passed by, cried out, saying, Have mercy on us, O Lord, thou Son of David. And the multitude rebuked them, because they should hold their peace: but they cried the more, saying, Have mercy on us, O Lord, thou Son of David. And Jesus stood still, and called them, and said, What will ye that I shall do unto you? They say unto him, Lord, that our eyes may be opened."

But if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted?

Been reading up pastor's divers tract in his defence and contention for the Reformation legacy and heritage.

Saw that personally, when and after I resisted the overtures to honour my spiritual father and the call to imbibe the Calvinistic culture and Puritanical ethics in my life, my lifestyle became literally barbaric for being worse than the heathens, morally, socially and academically decadent, despite the given opulence and technological convinience of living in Moscow. I too had become like unto the liberals and leftists.

"Evil shall slay the wicked, and they that hate the righteous shall be desolate." (Psalm 34:21).

No sense of responsibility, loyalty, morality, kindness, productivity.

O God please emancipate me from my lawlessness and sin, to serve Thee in holiness and righteousness.

Reformation Day 31st October 1517

Sola Scriptura! Sola Fide! Sola Gratia! Sola Christus! Soli Deo Gloria! Papacy is the Antichrist!

Need to first seek the personal and experimental power of these reformational doctrines in my life: to repent and reform. 

Martin Luther (10 November 1483 – 18 February 1546)

John Calvin (10 July 1509 – 27 May 1564)

John Knox (c. 1510 – 24 November 1572)

Ulrich Zwingli (1 January 1484 – 11 October 1531)

William Tyndale (c. 1494 – 1536)

"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it."

- George Santayana 1906.

Isa 1:22 Thy silver is become dross, thy wine mixed with water:

The cup is still alloyed, I am found a dross and tare among the land of the upright, and my attendance on the means of grace is an abomination in the sight of God.

"To what purpose is the multitude of your sacrifices unto me? saith the LORD: I am full of the burnt offerings of rams, and the fat of fed beasts; and I delight not in the blood of bullocks, or of lambs, or of he goats. When ye come to appear before me, who hath required this at your hand, to tread my courts? Bring no more vain oblations; incense is an abomination unto me; the new moons and sabbaths, the calling of assemblies, I cannot away with; it is iniquity, even the solemn meeting. Your new moons and your appointed feasts my soul hateth: they are a trouble unto me; I am weary to bear them. And when ye spread forth your hands, I will hide mine eyes from you: yea, when ye make many prayers, I will not hear: your hands are full of blood." (Isaiah 1:11-15)

Isa 1:16-20 "Wash you, make you clean; put away the evil of your doings from before mine eyes; cease to do evil; Learn to do well; seek judgment, relieve the oppressed, judge the fatherless, plead for the widow. Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool. If ye be willing and obedient, ye shall eat the good of the land: But if ye refuse and rebel, ye shall be devoured with the sword: for the mouth of the LORD hath spoken it. "

"Therefore saith the Lord, the LORD of hosts, the mighty One of Israel, Ah, I will ease me of mine adversaries, and avenge me of mine enemies: And I will turn my hand upon thee, and purely purge away thy dross, and take away all thy tin: And I will restore thy judges as at the first, and thy counsellors as at the beginning: afterward thou shalt be called, The city of righteousness, the faithful city. Zion shall be redeemed with judgment, and her converts with righteousness. And the destruction of the transgressors and of the sinners shall be together, and they that forsake the LORD shall be consumed." (Isaiah 1:24-28)

Empty the cup.

Empty dad, mum, sister, myself, books, past alloyed understanding, cultures, family background, childhood upbringing, experiences, worldly mentality and attitude, etc. etc. etc.

KOSONGKAN SEMUA!

Mat. 18:3 "Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven."

Got to learn everything again, starting from crawling. Hohoho.

"Huh? Walk? What on earth is that?"

Whoredom

Jer 2:33 "Why trimmest thou thy way to seek love? therefore hast thou also taught the wicked ones thy ways."

Jer 4:30 "And when thou art spoiled, what wilt thou do? Though thou clothest thyself with crimson, though thou deckest thee with ornaments of gold, though thou rentest thy face with painting, in vain shalt thou make thyself fair; thy lovers will despise thee, they will seek thy life."
  

Hos 2:16 "And it shall be at that day, saith the LORD, that thou shalt call me Ishi; and shalt call me no more Baali."

I will go and return to my first husband (Hosea 2:7)

NOTE:

a) Ishi אישׁ - man, husband.

b) Baali בּעלי - my master.

Jer 7:29 "Cut off thine hair, O Jerusalem, and cast it away, and take up a lamentation on high places; for the LORD hath rejected and forsaken the generation of his wrath."

By the rivers of Babylon, there we sat down, yea, we wept, when we remembered Zion. We hanged our harps upon the willows in the midst thereof.

If I forget thee, O Jerusalem, let my right hand forget her cunning.

Taking things for granted.

Jer 18:1 "The word which came to Jeremiah from the LORD, saying,

v2 Arise, and go down to the potter's house, and there I will cause thee to hear my words.

v3 Then I went down to the potter's house, and, behold, he wrought a work on the wheels.

v4 And the vessel that he made of clay was marred in the hand of the potter: so he made it again another vessel, as seemed good to the potter to make it.

v5 Then the word of the LORD came to me, saying,

v6 O house of Israel, cannot I do with you as this potter? saith the LORD. Behold, as the clay is in the potter's hand, so are ye in mine hand, O house of Israel.

v7 At what instant I shall speak concerning a nation, and concerning a kingdom, to pluck up, and to pull down, and to destroy it;

v8 If that nation, against whom I have pronounced, turn from their evil, I will repent of the evil that I thought to do unto them.

v9 And at what instant I shall speak concerning a nation, and concerning a kingdom, to build and to plant it;

v10 If it do evil in my sight, that it obey not my voice, then I will repent of the good, wherewith I said I would benefit them.

v11 Now therefore go to, speak to the men of Judah, and to the inhabitants of Jerusalem, saying, Thus saith the LORD; Behold, I frame evil against you, and devise a device against you: return ye now every one from his evil way, and make your ways and your doings good."

1Sa 15:10-11 "Then came the word of the LORD unto Samuel, saying, It repenteth me that I have set up Saul to be king: for he is turned back from following me, and hath not performed my commandments."

Jude 1:5 "I will therefore put you in remembrance, though ye once knew this, how that the Lord, having saved the people out of the land of Egypt, afterward destroyed them that believed not."

"Know therefore this day, and consider it in thine heart, that the LORD He is God in heaven above, and upon the earth beneath: there is none else." Deu. 4:39

Deu 4:32 For ask now of the days that are past, which were before thee, since the day that God created man upon the earth, and ask from the one side of heaven unto the other, whether there hath been any such thing as this great thing is, or hath been heard like it?

v33 Did ever people hear the voice of God speaking out of the midst of the fire, as thou hast heard, and live?

v34 Or hath God assayed to go and take Him a nation from the midst of another nation, by temptations, by signs, and by wonders, and by war, and by a mighty hand, and by a stretched out arm, and by great terrors, according to all that the LORD your God did for you in Egypt before your eyes?

v35 Unto thee it was shewed, that thou mightest know that the LORD He is God; there is none else beside him.

v36 Out of heaven He made thee to hear His voice, that He might instruct thee: and upon earth he shewed thee His great fire; and thou heardest His words out of the midst of the fire.

v37 And because He loved thy fathers, therefore He chose their seed after them, and brought thee out in His sight with His mighty power out of Egypt;

v38 To drive out nations from before thee greater and mightier than thou art, to bring thee in, to give thee their land for an inheritance, as it is this day.

Eph 2:8 "For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:"

Eph 2:9 Not of works, lest any man should boast.

Even faith is a gift from God. Where is place for pride then?

Psa 44:8 In God we boast all the day long, and praise Thy Name for ever. 

Ruth - Satisfied

...being one who can sincerely say, "the LORD is my Shepherd, I shall not want."

But call me Mara - for the Almighty hath dwealt very bitterly with me. (Ruth 1:20)

My heart is wandering away constantly from God, drawn away by lusts and discontentment with God to seek for fulfillment in the world, through internet, games...

...and this joker is trying to find grass on tar road. Zzz.

Watch out for the truck dude. LoL.

O God bring me back to Thyself.

So that I may truly and sincerely say, father, I'm coming home;

But I have sinned against heaven and before thee,

and am no more worthy to be called thy son,

make me as one of thy hired servants.

Study study study.

Tired.

Psalm 90:10b "yet is their strength labour and sorrow; for it is soon cut off, and we fly away."

Psa 90:15 "Make us glad according to the days wherein Thou hast afflicted us, and the years wherein we have seen evil."

(Isa. 59:14) "Truth is fallen in the street."

At what price or value should Truth be esteemed?

William Tyndale: "I call God to record against the day we shall appear before our Lord Jesus, that I never altered one syllable of God's Word against my conscience, nor would do this day, if all that is in earth, whether it be honor, pleasure, or riches, might be given me."

"Lord! Open the king of England's eyes!" 1536 - Of whom the world was not worthy.

They loved not their lives unto the death.

(Rev. 12:11)

It rained!

YAY!~

Doleful violin strings of zephyr, gracefully layed

clear sharp windwood sticks of bamboo, tranquilly played

Sparrows and pigeons hurriedly to shelter
 of foliages and leafages they flew

fluttering their feathers off the droplets,
even as they await The Creator this earth renew

Scarlet, gold, teal, green or blues,

splashing across the woods with elegant hues

Gushing waves driven along by the thunderous winds

across the roofs as they march, in the allergory of the desert sands

crystal pearls unto the rhythm - they fall - with glocken chime

in euphony as the chicks - to chirping melodies - along they rhyme

These two fellows are trying out their new umbrella. LOL. Jatuh lor.

 Eh hello boss. Tak pernah tengok payung kah? =p

(Jer 51:16) When He uttereth His voice, there is a multitude of waters in the heavens; and He causeth the vapours to ascend from the ends of the earth: He maketh lightnings with rain, and bringeth forth the wind out of His treasures.

Thank GOD! Got fresh air now! XD

Jer 4:23 "I beheld the earth, and, lo, it was without form, and void; and the heavens, and they had no light."

(Gen. 1:2b-3) "And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters. And God said, Let there be light: and there was light."

(2Co 4:6) "For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ."

Without God, life is so dark, empty and miserable.

Feel sick.

"LORD, lift Thou up the Light of Thy Countenance upon us" (Psalm 4:6b)

Jeremiah 17:9 "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?"

"I the LORD search the heart, I try the reins, even to give every man according to his ways, and according to the fruit of his doings." Jeremiah 17:10

Unparallel in deceit,

Desperate in wickedness,

Who can possibly know?

Wise in own's conceit,

Sole and constant in sinfulness,

Who can duly grasp?

- horror hath taken hold upon me.

Moscow Metro Bomb Blast - 29th March 2010. 0800

Monday morning. Biochemistry class. Was preparing to go. Then heard the news. Took place at 2 stations respectively (both stations of which I take every week alternately to class), with the second happened half an hour after the first. I could have been there. Maybe I should have been there.

"For I am YEHOVAH, I change not; therefore ye sons of Jacob are not consumed." Mal. 3:6

"It is of YEHOVAH's mercy that we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning: Great is Thy faithfulness. YEHOVAH is my Portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in Him." Lamentations 3:22-24. 

Six days thou shalt labor, and do all thy work

Gen. 3:17b-19: "...cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life; Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field; In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return."

My heart is so wild and untamable. So difficult to still down and study hard. Grrr...

Jer. 31:18b "..Thou hast chastised me, and I was chastised, as a bullock unaccustomed to the yoke: turn Thou me, and I shall be turned; for Thou art the LORD my God."

v12 So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.
v13 Return, O LORD, how long? and let it repent Thee concerning Thy servants.
v14 O satisfy us early with Thy mercy; that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.
v15 Make us glad according to the days wherein Thou hast afflicted us, and the years wherein we have seen evil.
v16 Let Thy work appear unto Thy servants, and Thy Glory unto their children.
v17 And let the beauty of the LORD our God be upon us: and establish Thou the work of our hands upon us; yea, the work of our hands establish Thou it.
(- Psalm 90: A prayer of Moses the man of God)

"It is Written"

- the replies that our Lord gave to the Devil against every temptation.

- the counsel given to me before I came to Moscow to thwart off every malicious suggestions to sin, that saved me from so many pitfalls. Thank God.

- the urgent need for an inward conviction of the Holy Ghost bearing witness by and with the Word of God in our hearts to be fully persuaded and assured of Its infallible Truth and divine Authority. (From Westminster Confession of Faith 1646 edition)

(Psalm 17:4b) "by the Word of Thy lips I have kept me from the paths of the destroyer."

Aduh. Yo boss, polar bear macam mana boleh baca english lar?

(Psa 37:31) "The law of his God is in his heart;

none of his steps shall slide."

URGENCY - "flee from the wrath to come" (Mat. 3:7c)

1Thes. 5:2 "For yourselves know perfectly that the day of the Lord so cometh as a thief in the night.

v3 For when they shall say, Peace and safety; then sudden destruction cometh upon them, as travail upon a woman with child; and they shall not escape."

Luk 16:16 "The law and the prophets were until John: since that time the kingdom of God is preached, and every man presseth into it."

Not very funny if we are the chicken itself.

"Escape for thy life; look not behind thee, neither stay thou in all the plain; escape to the mountain, lest thou be consumed." (Gen. 19:17b)

Indebted.

I owe my life to God the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost, His servant and His people.

From henceforth let me never forget what kind of person I was, all God's afflictions and judgments on me, and every mercy Christ and His Church shown me. God help me - this treacherous and forgetful bastard!

(Deu 8:2) "And thou shalt remember all the way which the LORD thy God led thee these forty years in the wilderness, to humble thee, and to prove thee, to know what was in thine heart, whether thou wouldest keep his commandments, or no."
(Deu 5:15a) And remember that thou wast a servant in the land of Egypt, and that the LORD thy God brought thee out thence through a mighty hand and by a stretched out arm"

Jos 9:8a "And they said unto Joshua, We are thy servants."

Out of 6.8 billion people in the world

(statistics source: World Clock)

though I'm not the only one, but still,
among the so few,
WHY ME, O God?

(Deu. 9:5) "Not for thy righteousness, or for the uprightness of thine heart"
(1Cor. 1:27-28) "And base things of the world, and things which are despised, hath God chosen, yea, and things which are not, to bring to nought things that are"

1) My exceedingly great and rare privilege!

2) What a pity if I don't make it! Being so near yet so far!

3) Thus my exceeding greatness of sin in disobeying this Covenant, and despite that, God's exceeding greatness of compassion and love to continually stretch out His arm to me!

 

- O, strive, then, to be one of them that shall be saved, though it cost thee thy blood and the loss of all that thou hast; labor to go beyond all those that go so far yet perish at the last. (Thomas Shepard's Sincere Convert)

Luk 13:24 "Strive to enter in at the strait gate: for many, I say unto you, will seek to enter in, and shall not be able."

"That every mouth may be stopped, and all the world may become guilty before God" (Rom. 3:19b)

Some days back, my friend broke a promise he made with me. And instead of apologizing he started to make up excuses e.g. he had the full intention to keep the promise although he failed, no one is perfect etc.. Of which this incident awakened me to realize a point which the preacher always tried to press home: I am inexcusable for all my sins.

Although (1) man is naturally born depraved, (2) no one is perfect, and we all have weaknesses, (3) we do not fully know the law of God - none is justified. (1) Ecc. 7:29, Rom. 5:12; (2) 1Cor. 10:13, Job 36:21; (3) Lev. 4:13-14, Luke 12:47-48. But that the full measure of justice and God's wrath is to be meted accordingly even for the smallest sin, for there can never ever be the slightest injustice with the holy God, be it in this world, or in the eternity to come. No sin will go unpunished. Either Christ have to bear it for me, or I will have to personally.

(Hos 7:2) And they consider not in their hearts that I remember all their wickedness: now their own doings have beset them about; they are before my face.

O God where shall I stand in Thy sight?

Thou mightest be justified when Thou speakest,

and be clear when Thou judgest

(Psalm 51:4b)

Concentration.

Endeavor!: Focus mentally always on all the commandments of God, summed chiefly by the Decalogue and Christ's Sermon on the Mount, to do them diligently, and turn not aside to the left or right. Live and consecrate every moment to God and Zion.

Yo boss. Tolong jangan jatuh.

Otherwise really jia lak.

Deu. 32:47a "For it is not a vain thing for you; because it is your life"

Biochemistry

Today God humbled me in the presence of my friends, though not the first time, during biochem's class. I couldn't answer even a single question my professor asked me. The LORD had exornerated Himself: unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required (Luke 12:48); and the heathens have been more diligent and righteous than I. I'm suffering as a fool for my iniquity. He hath prospered Joseph in all that he did, but His Hand is against me in all that I do. There is no respect of persons with God the righteous Judge. But He is still very pitiful - and moved my professor to give me a free pass for my 1st semester. Thou art just and clear, I have brought this on myself through my own iniquity, blessed be the LORD. I'm undone. Have mercy on me for Christ's sake.

Hope someday biochemistry rocks for me by God's mercy and grace.

Bless the LORD, o my soul

O LORD my God, Thou art very great; Thou art clothed with honor and majesty. Who coverest Thyself with light as with a garment: Who stretchest out the heavens like a curtain: Who layeth the beams of His chambers in the waters: Who maketh the clouds His chariots: Who walketh upon the wings of the wind: Who maketh His angels spirits; His ministers a flaming fire: Who laid the foundations of the earth, that it should not be removed forever. (Psalm 104)

 

O LORD, how manifold are Thy works! in wisdom hast Thou made them all: the earth is full of Thy riches. The glory of the LORD shall endure forever: the LORD shall rejoice in His works. I will sing unto the LORD as long as I live: I will sing praise to my God while I have my being. My meditation of Him shall be sweet: I will be glad in the LORD. Let the sinners be consumed out of the earth, and let the wicked be no more. Bless thou the LORD, o my soul. Praise ye the LORD. Amen.

"Take heed unto thyself, and unto the doctrine; and continue in them: for in doing this thou shalt both save thyself, and them that hear thee." (I Timothy 4:16)

Pastor's advice to me caused me to realize...

-I must not stop but continually: 1) meditate 2) take heed and practice 3) continue in the doctrines.

-To the end that I may "be bestowed with a good sense of the pastoral deductions and the experimental reality of the doctrines" (pastor).

I have lived day by day without awakening to spiritual realities and the power of the truth, despite all the intellectual learning. Like a zombie.

O God despise not the prayer of the destitute.
Pray God let the ministrations keep stacking up in my heart, to work contrition, repentance and faith. Amen.

"A rolling stone gathers no moss."

Tiny.

I've walked proudly, after the vanity and high imagination of my mind. My heart have been exalted against my own destruction.

Then by His providence God brought a very skinny china roomate to stay with me, who literally mirrored many of my moral weaknesses and physical infirmities.

From then I realized...

I'm small and despised, yet the LORD thinketh upon me.

Blessed be the NAME of the LORD.

Be still my soul.

And know that YEHOVAH He is ELOHIM. (Psalm 46)

- "A rolling stone gathers no moss". Pastor's advice to me.

I still sleep like pig. SIGH.

After giving a thought, found out that sloth is a sign of unregenerate.

"The way of the slothful man is as an hedge of thorns: but the way of the righteous is made plain." (Prov. 15:19) - a contrast between the redeemed of the Lord and those who are not.

Looking up the Bible, realized that without diligence can never find God. (Heb. 6:11-12; 11:6)
 - That is, although salvation is sovereignly and freely dispensed by God- so that there is absolutely nothing we can possibly do to merit it; yet He hath ordained it in such a way that without faith and repentance, in diligence and striving none should attain unto it. (Romans 4:4, 9:30-33, Luke 13:24, Acts 14:22)

I need to be awakened from my spiritual coma, my sleep of death (Psalm 13).

This fellow appears to fell asleep during his sembahyang.